If you feel like you're in the wrong place

Some of us are all too familiar with the feeling. That feeling that you're in the wrong place. That somebody, somewhere made a mistake matching you with your surroundings.

Feeling this way in a 6-month class or 6-hour social gathering is one thing. Feeling it chronically growing up is another.

You can’t choose your family.

What can you do if you are the square peg in a family of round holes?

In truth, you have 2 options:

You put family first: okay, you’re fitting in. You’re getting along. But you’re making an outsized effort, and you’re becoming exhausted. Meanwhile, a big part of you inside is feeling unsatisfied, feeling squelched, even betrayed. Betrayed by you.

You put yourself first: okay, you’re finally at peace with yourself. But are you at peace with others? You likely find yourself in the crosshairs of immense tension, anger, and even betrayal. This is especially likely if your family adheres to a collective belief system, and you don't. You will be portrayed as something that is foreign to you, which might further confuse your feelings, and you likely have no recourse within this group. It can feel like you have nowhere to turn, no one who will advocate for you.

I'm sorry. I can't give you an easy answer. If you ask me, there isn't one.

But there are people who understand. Find those people, and talk to them.

The biggest step in the beginning is knowing you are not alone. And you have resources available to help make you feel whole.