If there is a self-improvement junkie, I am he.

I don’t feel great about admitting it, but there it is.

Self-awareness, like courage, is one of those foundational skills that facilitates all the others. So while it was difficult to face, and more than a little painful, I have come to terms with this reality. I have used this truth about myself to make healthier decisions.

For example, I have adjusted my behaviors in healthy ways such as:

• No longer staying late at work every day (Now I spend more time with family. A better decision in every way.)

• Coaching myself to relax in the office, strictly physiologically speaking (Now I'm more creative, more focused, make better judgments, and burn out less frequently.)

• No longer trying to prevent myself from seeing my own insecurities (Now I'm more open, vulnerable, and trusting of others. Without some grand, all-encompassing vision to tie myself to, I no longer have to be on guard. I no longer have to live in perpetual angst about the myriad ways I am failing to live up to my goals. This has led to deeper, more fulfilling relationships with friends, colleagues, and family. I cannot overstate how important this has been for me in my life.)

Having been on both sides, it’s only as a reformed self-improvement junkie that I can now see with clear eyes. Only now can I see how entrenched I was in these self-destructive mental patterns, and how people close to me in my life are caught right now.

And make no mistake: an addiction to self-improvement is just that - an addiction. "But it's a healthy one," you might say - and you'd be partially right. But there's a big shadow side to this addiction that, left unchecked, can loom over every waking moment of your life.

• It’s better than lots of other addictions, surely. It can help you become more productive, focused, effective at achieving specific outcomes. There is, always has been, and always will be, demand for that skill set.

• But these gifts aren't bestowed without their drawbacks. This addiction still involves hiding from yourself, damaging or outright destroying your relationships with people close to you (in the name of noble sacrifices), and subjecting yourself through cycles of self-destructive behavior, both physically and emotionally.

For some, these drawbacks just aren't worth it. (The author of this humble blog included.)

For others, these drawbacks are okay, even in the long term. Some will live their whole lives this way. After all, it's a perfectly good way to keep achieving new things, to keep earning external plaudits.

That said, even for those who live their whole lives this way, it can be beneficial to come to grips with your reality. Even if you don't want to change your behaviors.

The main benefit of facing this reality, in my experience, is a deeper understanding of why your close relationships might be hurting, or why you feel you can't really trust people, or why it can often feel like you simply have to do everything yourself to get it done right.

These are the things that can make for a lonely life. I chose friends and family and love. You don't have to, but the nice thing is you can always choose.